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This Spaghetti is...Incredible!

September 30, 2013

 

The other day Mrs. Chatterbox made spaghetti. I like spaghetti well enough but this spaghetti was different. It was—incredible, so good that after a few mouthfuls I could barely concentrate on what I was eating. I finally set down my fork and said, “What’s different about this spaghetti?”

    

“Funny you should ask,” Mrs. C. said. “Do you remember when we went to Italy and I bought that special cooking oil in Sorrento?”

    

I admitted I didn’t remember.

   

“Well, I found it in the back of the pantry and thought I’d use it in the spaghetti. Frankly, I don’t notice much of a difference.”

    

“You don’t? This stuff is amazing, maybe one of the best things you’ve ever cooked.”

    

She beamed. “Glad you like it.”

    

I twirled another forkful of pasta and delivered it to my mouth. Yum! A strange phenomenon occurred while I ate; Mrs. Chatterbox, who I consider to be one of the loveliest women alive, suddenly looked even more lovely. In fact, she looked ravishing, and by that I mean deserving of being ravished.

    

When finished it took willpower not to lick the plate. “Is there any more?” I asked.

    

She shook her head as she pushed her plate in my direction. “You can have mine if you like it so much.”

    

At the time I was too greedy to wonder why she didn’t think this one of the best things ever to put in her mouth. A few deliciously nasty thoughts mushroomed in my mind. “Is there any of this oil left in the pantry?” I asked.

    

“Yes.”

    

I needed to check out this magic elixir, but when I stood and pushed back my kitchen chair I was startled by the size of the tent on the front of my pants.

    

Mrs. Chatterbox’s eyebrows shot up. I mean, we weren’t teenagers; it’s been a long time since I pushed her down on the kitchen table and ravished her. I could see from her expression that she was having similar thoughts and wasn’t opposed to the idea. But first I needed to learn more about the miraculous substance transforming me into the god of testosterone.

    

I hobbled over to the pantry, pulled out the oil and read the label. “That explains it,” I said before clearing suitable space on our kitchen table.

 

 

 



Comments

30 Comments
That was hilarious! Save that oil for special occasions!
By: David Walston on September 30, 2013
Where do you get this stuff!!! Very funny.
By: Tabor on September 30, 2013
And I'm sure she didn't notice the label when she added it in there. Clearly this story needs to be the basis for a new series of commercials.
By: PT Dilloway on September 30, 2013
I think you may have embellished this story when you saw the label...at least I know I would have. Good stuff! The story also.
By: Cranky on September 30, 2013
Willy Dunne Wooters tends to have that problem with a flagpole in his shorts, but we don't have any special oil. At least not the kind you eat. Love, Janie
By: Janie Junebug on September 30, 2013
oh my goodness me.....I fell off my chair cuz I was laughing so hard....oh ahahah I wonder if we can oreder that online? Have a fabulous day and do have more spagetti!
By: Kathe W. on September 30, 2013
I couldn't stop laughing at this post. I never know what I will get to read when I visit your blog, Stephen, but it's always good. Thank you.
By: Sharon Bradshaw on September 30, 2013
bwahahaha!! whatever works!
By: TexWisGirl on September 30, 2013
I love spaghetti and your story but I've never had your 'reaction' during my meal.
By: Daniel LaFrance on September 30, 2013
Hahahaha!!! This story just reinforces every Italian stereotype I've ever heard of.
By: Nancy Felt on September 30, 2013
I thought that oil was available by prescription only!!
By: fishducky on September 30, 2013
You had a tent in your pants? I didn't know you were camping.
By: Al Penwasser on September 30, 2013
Stephen, you never fail to entertain me. whether your story is sad or funny. you write good. :)
By: Fran on September 30, 2013
What ever next?
By: red on September 30, 2013
Huh! I simply thought you'd had a bit too much wine until the defining tent moment.
By: Val on September 30, 2013
That was hysterical but now I can't eat spaghetti anymore because it's too boring. Unless....hmm! Lol
By: Bouncin Barb on September 30, 2013
That seems so much better than the blue pill. You can add it to your noodles and get cooking in the kitchen. A sexy reveal. Thanks for sharing. I wonder if I can find that stuff on EBay. xoRobyn
By: Robyn Engel on September 30, 2013
Who knew those 'little red peppers' were more than just 'tasty'!
By: The Broad on October 1, 2013
Hilarious. You really had me going. I was shocked when you told about the tent in your pants! Now everyone will want to "eat Italian."
By: Mitchell is Moving on October 1, 2013
Spaghetti will never be the same again......
By: John on October 1, 2013
You are hilarious - ha!
By: The Bug on October 1, 2013
Ohhhh....those crazy Italians! ;)
By: Scott Cody Park on October 1, 2013
oh my stars.....you never fail to entertain dear boy........
By: Oma Linda on October 1, 2013
Wonderful story, good sir. I will look for that oil the next time I'm in Italy and think of this great tale.
By: Michael Offutt on October 1, 2013
Sorry about that blank comment just above this one. I must have been stunned by your story!
By: Catalyst/Bruce on October 1, 2013
Oh my God, I didn't see that one coming.
By: Anne on October 1, 2013
*Makes flight reservations to Sorrento*
By: Pixel Peeper on October 1, 2013
I bet that oil is a big seller in Italy. I'd be careful who I serve that spaghetti to.
By: Cheryl P. on October 1, 2013
That oil should be terrific for making spaghetti hardonara!
By: Bryan Jones on October 2, 2013
Snortle! You are always such a treat. ;)
By: Hilary on October 4, 2013

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