Welcome to the Chubby Chatterbox Newsletter, where I’ll be posting favorites from the Chubby Chatterbox archives. In addition, my complete thriller Return of the Mary Celeste will soon be serialized here for those who have asked for something beyond a regular post.

My novel is based on a true event, arguably the greatest maritime mystery of all time. In 1872 the crew and passengers of Boston brigantine Mary Celeste abandoned their seaworthy ship and its valuable cargo, vanishing in the middle of the Atlantic. Speculation over their fate has never abated. History records that after the Mary Celeste tragedy no one from that fateful voyage was ever seen again. History is about to be rewritten…

Return of the Mary Celeste

Prologue

Tragedy struck the brigantine Mary Celeste on the morning of November 25, 1872. The hourly log was later recovered from the deserted vessel; At 8 a.m. the last notation was made. By 9 a.m. no one remained aboard to chalk the next entry.

Something had terrified Captain Benjamin Briggs and his crew, prompting the seasoned skipper to make a decision certain to affect not only himself, his ship and crew, but his family as well—his wife and two year old daughter were aboard Mary Celeste. Much ink has been spilled in fanciful and scientific attempts to explain the calamity that engulfed this perfectly seaworthy ship, yet all that is known for certain is this: in a matter of minutes Captain Briggs became convinced that the only way to save their lives was by ordering everyone into a hastily launched lifeboat. By giving the order to abandon ship, he also launched the greatest of all maritime mysteries.

On December 5, 1872, a month after leaving New York Harbor, Mary Celeste was found drifting on a calm and empty sea. The ship was in fine condition, perfectly intact with valuable cargo safely stored in her hold, but the crew and passengers had vanished. None were ever seen again.

Until now….

Sign up and read my novel for free.

All Blog Posts


My First Nude

July 10, 2013
While channel surfing not long ago I landed on an episode of Family Feud. Just as I was about to change the channel, host Steve Harvey asked this question: Where were you when you first saw a naked member of the opposite sex? As I scratched my head thinking about it, the image of a jelly donut popped into my head.    

    

I was a high school junior in 1969 when an opportunity arose for me to fly to UCLA, where my older brother David was enrolled as a political science major. He resided on campus in one of UCLA’s many dorms. His roommate was gone a few days, giving me an opportunity to visit and check out college life. I’d packed a few art supplies, intending to drop in on a drawing class. David advised me to first ask the professor if it was okay to sit in on the class. He twirled a finger near his ear. “Some of them are squirrelly.”

    

I headed across campus with a spring in my step and a happy-go-lucky grin on my face, happy to be stretching my pubescent wings far from home. In front of the student union building a group of students protested the Vietnam War. I stopped to listen for a few minutes. Before long, a girl with flowers braided in long tresses approached and handed me a petition. I scribbled my name, made a peace sign and indicated my art supplies. “I’m into art, not war,” I told her.

    

“Man, you’re fuck’n beautiful, she said before wandering away.

    

I located the art building and prowled about until finding a class in session. I asked one of the students to point out the professor—who happened to be a scruffy dude with thick horn rims and tangled piano-wire hair like Larry from the Three Stooges.            

    

“Excuse me,” I asked politely. “Is it okay if I sit in on your class?”

    

Professor Larry looked at me with skepticism. “This is an advanced figure drawing class—no place for a beginner.”

    

“I’m not a beginner,” I said indignantly.

    

“Do you know how to draw?”

    

“Yes.” I tried not to sound too humble.

    

“Let’s see what you’ve got.” He took my drawing tablet and thumbed through it while I looked on, shifting my weight from one foot to the other. Aside from my high school art teacher, this was the only professional to see my work. I waited breathlessly for his critique. He finished and handed me my tablet. “Your figures are a bit weak, particularly the women, but you probably haven’t seen many nude women, have you?”

    

I felt my cheeks burn. My high school art classes didn’t include nude models.

    

“I’ll say this, though: you definitely know how to draw the human foot. Most beginners have a hard time with them. Go ahead, grab one of the easels at the back of the studio and stay out of the way.”

    

“Thanks,” I said, covering up my irritation at being called a beginner. After all, I’d been drawing for years.

    

I placed my drawing pad on a vacant easel and was attempting to blend into the background when a hot barefoot girl eating a jelly doughnut walked up to me. She politely asked to see my work.

    

After flipping through my pad she swallowed a bite of doughnut and said, “You draw beautiful feet!”

    

Before I could reply a buzzer sounded. She handed my pad back, along with the remainder of her jelly doughnut. “Be a doll and keep this for me until we take our break,” she said. “Take a bite if you want.”

    

I’d skipped breakfast and was famished, but my attention diverted from the doughnut when she pulled off the loose garment she was wearing. She wore nothing beneath it. My first time at seeing a naked woman! As she headed for the riser in the middle of the room I reminded myself to keep breathing.

    

She began the session with a series of quick gesture poses. I studied her perky breasts and round ass, awed by the supple body contorting in an endless variety of positions. She progressed to longer, more complicated poses.

    

I tuned out the scratching sounds of pencils and charcoal as students around me struggled to capture the model’s essence. As I committed her form to memory, I couldn’t help wondering if this was the way my girlfriend, the future Mrs. Chatterbox, looked beneath her clothes. 

    

Professor Larry approached my easel. His voice broke the spell holding me captive.  “You’ll find it easier to draw without a jelly doughnut in your hand.”

    

As it turned out, he was right.

 

 

    

Where were you when you first saw a naked member of the opposite sex?

 



Comments

39 Comments
Well, I am trying to remember...my pre-marriage sex (what little I had) was not all out there, if you know what I mean. I think it was while dating my future husband. I was a little shocked at how large (not what you think) male anatomy could be compared to what I had seen while bathing my brother years ago.
By: Tabor on July 10, 2013
Do peep holes count? Did the model have nice feet?
By: Cranky on July 10, 2013
I just know now I should have stuck in at Art.....
By: John on July 10, 2013
I remember my first life drawing class in college...it was pretty bizarre for a farm girl. We had a couple once and they struck a rather entwined pose and after a few minutes clasped together, we noticed that a faint rocking motion was emerging. Charcoal became quiet as we became transfixed on the subjects...Then they stopped and we furiously started drawing again!!! Hysterical!
By: Laurel on July 10, 2013
As always, such a well crafted story. So did you draw the whole model, or just her feet?
By: Shelly on July 10, 2013
I don't remember. I really don't. I graduated high school in 1969 so there were lots of naked people here and there. Have a terrific day. :)
By: Comedy Plus on July 10, 2013
What?! A jelly doughnut is the epitome of inspiration. I've never drawn a nude. I wish I'd taken college level art courses.
By: Michael Offutt on July 10, 2013
Dang, I wish I could have dropped in on a class like that.
By: PT Dilloway on July 10, 2013
I was 16 and my older buddies brought me to a strip bar. They had a chuckle as my gaping jaw and wide-eyed gaze locked on to our topless waitress (one of the dancers).
By: Daniel LaFrance on July 10, 2013
most likely my children's father- I don't think bathing my 3 much younger brothers count!
By: Kathe W. on July 10, 2013
Um, since it involved walking in on family by accident, we won't discuss it.
By: mimi on July 10, 2013
I was bathed with my younger brother and sister when I was little, but when I accidentally (due to extreme need) barged in on my dad peeing when I was about 8 or 9 I was shocked to discover how much larger my brother's little thing would likely grow--LOL!
By: Rita McGregor on July 10, 2013
I've always found hands & feet much harder to draw than faces--perhaps I should've held a jelly doughnut while sketching!!
By: fishducky on July 10, 2013
Shockingly, it was my mother (only from the waist up) when I came home unexpectedly from school one day when I felt sick. That was an eye-opener.
By: Catalyst/Bruce on July 10, 2013
You didn't ask when; you asked where. I was in a very tiny bedroom in New York City.
By: tom sightings on July 10, 2013
Does changing my nephew's diaper count? I guess I saw a naked man when I was almost 18 and started doing incredibly naughty things in the back seats of cars. It was difficult to see, though, because of the darkness and all the beer we drank. And you are fuckin beautiful. I'm hungry. I wish I had a donut. Love, Janie
By: Janie Junebug on July 10, 2013
Sex-play as a 11-year-old with my two female cousins. I know ... I'm a deviant!
By: Bryan Jones on July 10, 2013
too cute. not really sure, myself!
By: TexWisGirl on July 10, 2013
You mean besides rounding a few bases at the drive-in movie? Probably 16 years old, at "her" house. My folks never went anywhere. :(
By: Scott Park on July 10, 2013
I, too was a junior in 1969 and dating the boy/man that was to become my husband 1.5 years later.....which would coincide pretty close to the time a saw a naked man. What a dull girl I was.
By: Cheryl P. on July 10, 2013
I'd have eaten the Donut and completely forgotten to draw! If it counts - I was about 11 when my mate showed me the videos he'd found at the back of his Dad's wardrobe...
By: Glen on July 10, 2013
Do your followers know how to be evasive. They can go to great lengths to say nothing. Catalogs were excellent. so wee national geographics! Does this count?
By: Redd on July 10, 2013
The first view was of Jayne Mansfield, in a magazine at the barber shop. My first in the flesh moment was when I visited a house in the red light district when in high school. Saw quite a bit that night.
By: Tom Cochrun on July 10, 2013
I'm pretty sure the first totally naked guy I ever saw was my first husband--when we were in college and engaged but not yet married. I was 20. (I know--I was slower than most!)
By: Eva Gallant on July 10, 2013
Well, the first naked member I saw was in the bottom of the stairwell outside my grandpa's basement. It was a two-for-one deal, with several of us neighbor kids hanging out. I saw one of each kind, if you know what I mean. We were probably 10-11 years old.
By: Val on July 10, 2013
I was in the baby's room -- my little brother -- and discovered that when Mom took his diaper off, his little sprinkler peed into the air like a fountain. I was 9 and amazed! LOL
By: Lexa Cain on July 10, 2013
Not counting little brother diaper changes and bathes, probably future husband in high school. Great story.
By: Charlotte on July 10, 2013
Not counting family members or naked playmates as a toddler? Probably when I was 13 and a friend at a sleepover put in her father's porn video. I guess it also counts as the first time I saw people having sex!
By: Kellie @ Delightfully Ludicrous on July 11, 2013
I can't remember my first time seeing a nude but I took life drawing, too, and the first model was a man.
By: Madeleine McLaughlin on July 11, 2013
Well, it wasn't in an Art class, that's for sure.
By: Fran on July 11, 2013
Probably a life drawing class too, when I was 17. I don't remember feeling any real attraction to either the male or female models actually. I found drawing a smashed up old Coke can more exciting. :D
By: LL COOL JOE on July 11, 2013
I can't say. You've inspired me to do a post on this subject.
By: Joe on July 11, 2013
The first time I saw a naked woman was when my mother took my sister and I to see the movie "The Harrad Experiment." It was awful drack, but it had a lot of naked girls in it. My mother was positively mortified. Even more so when I wanted to get a ticket for the next show. My first real live naked girl? You may remember, I joined the Navy when I was 18. So 18.
By: Al Penwasser on July 11, 2013
By the way? I LOVED that picture. But, it hurt my back. When I fell out of my chair.
By: Al Penwasser on July 11, 2013
Okay, ONE LAST TIME. I'll echo Mimi's "we won't discuss it." I walked in on Mom and Dad when I was about seven. I still carry the emotional scars of that event. Plus, I really don't buy that whole "Mom had a stomachache and Dad was trying to make her feel better" canard.
By: Al Penwasser on July 11, 2013
If you don't count family, I suppose it would be pictures, in "those" kind of books that one of my friends had stashed. Not being very old (8-9, tops?) I didn't really think much of them. I was asked by a professor to model in college for an art class (one of several, I don't flatter myself), but I couldn't have. I think the art students would have run out of red from the blushing I would have done! Cat
By: Cat on July 11, 2013
Maybe it was lucky you had a jelly donut in your hands when she took her clothes off.... who knows what you would have done with your hand if not holding that donut.
By: Are We There Yet!! on July 15, 2013
The first non-photo, non-family member was someone's whose name I have conveniently forgotten. The rest - I remember well.
By: Hilary on July 17, 2013
Do you still draw nice feet and if so, why?
By: Katy Anders on July 19, 2013

Leave a Comment

Name:
Email:
Comment:

Return to All Blog Posts Main Page


RSS 2.0   Atom