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A Well-Written Police Report

December 20, 2013

I don’t normally post newspaper clippings but this one made me laugh out loud and I couldn’t resist sharing it. I’ve typed it out in case the text in the picture is too hard to read.




Orville Smith, a store manager for Best Buy in Augusta, GA., told police he observed a male customer, later identified as Tyrone Jackson of Augusta, on surveillance cameras putting a laptop computer under his jacket. When confronted the man became irate, knocked down an employee, drew a knife and ran for the door.


Outside on the sidewalk were four Marines collecting toys for the Toys for Tots program. Smith said the Marines stopped the man but he stabbed one of the Marines, Cpl. Phillip Duggan, in the back; the injury did not appear to be severe.


After police and an ambulance arrived on the scene Cpl. Duggan was transported for treatment.


“The suspect was also transported to the local hospital with two broken arms, a broken ankle, a broken leg, several missing teeth, possible broken ribs, multiple contusions, assorted lacerations, a broken nose and a broken jaw…injuries he sustained when he slipped and fell off the curb after stabbing the Marine,” according to a police report.”




That’s one heck of a curb, and that’s one well-written police report!






Those curbs are pretty nasty.
By: PT Dilloway on December 20, 2013
The sad part of that is WE will have to pay for all the hospital bills as a result of his slipping off the curb...actually it is probably worth it! Thanks for posting this story.
By: Cranky on December 20, 2013
The moral of the story: Beware of curbs that have Marines nearby!!
By: fishducky on December 20, 2013
Wow! I wonder what he came in contact with on the way down.
By: Mitchell is Moving on December 20, 2013
oh, that's a GREAT laugh for today!
By: TexWisGirl on December 20, 2013
I call that righteous taxation for transporting stolen goods. I tip my hat to the Marines who provided assistance to man that fell off the curb. ;-)
By: Daniel LaFrance on December 20, 2013
Now that is one gem of an article. Not only do I like the police accounting of the events but the fact the newspaper included all of it as well. At last... truth in journalism. Bet the thief will be more careful about stabbing Marines while being near a curb.
By: Cheryl P. on December 20, 2013
Crime definitely does not pay, Stephen. ;)
By: Michael Manning on December 20, 2013
Amazing...what was that thief thinking? Oh yeah- he wasn't! . Love it when karma happens. Merry Christmas!
By: Kathe W. on December 20, 2013
Ah, the joys of winter. Careful that you don't slip. LOL
By: mimi on December 20, 2013
I would think he would have to fall off a bridge onto a concrete highway below to get those kinds of injuries...;-)
By: Tabor on December 20, 2013
A police cover up that I am behind completely. Justice was served.
By: Akansas Patti on December 20, 2013
I believe that is pronounced U-rah. Not that I have any idea about Marines. Not as lean, never was mean but don't mess with him, Sweet Man.
By: Oma Linda on December 20, 2013
Semper Fi!
By: Al Penwasser on December 20, 2013
You go, Marines. That's hilarious. Love, Janie
By: Janie Junebug on December 20, 2013
Hah - beware of Marines! This reminds me a bit of a story that happened a few years ago here in our county. The Sheriff's Department had caught a fugitive who had killed one deputy and injured another a day earlier. When the fugitive tried to escape, he was shot 68 times. When our Sheriff was asked why the criminal was shot 68 times, he explained: "That's all the bullets we had."
By: Pixel Peeper on December 20, 2013
I guess that will teach him to be more aware of his surroundings.
By: Val on December 20, 2013
Absolutely priceless. The few, the proud, the Marines!
By: Bouncin Barb on December 20, 2013
Oh yes, I've seen those curbs. They are pretty high with a lot of bumps on the way down, ha ha ha ha. That's a real funny story, ha ha ha ha ha. I'm sure the marines were only being friendly too, ha ha ha. Seasonal greetings to you and your loved ones.
By: Rum Punch Drunk on December 20, 2013
I think some more of these curbs are required all over the world!
By: John on December 21, 2013
We need a few of those type of curbs here in Tasmania to enforce some justice on some of the local scumbags
By: Tony McGurk on December 21, 2013
It really wasn't his day. He should have been more careful of that curb - they make them really high in Georgia. lol
By: Lexa Cain on December 21, 2013
And that's a good example of poetic justice!
By: red on December 21, 2013
Tyrone must have missed the days when they taught about good conduct and how you never pick a fight with US Marines. Figure he learned anything that day?
By: Tom Cochrun on December 21, 2013
That's bizarre. I'll steer clear of those Toys for Tots bins. Happy Holidays, Stephen. xoRobyn
By: Robyn Engel on December 21, 2013
Why couldn't I have written like that when I was a news reporter? I might have headlined the story, "Some Guys Get All the Breaks!"
By: Bruce Taylor/Catalyst on December 21, 2013
That's one hell of a fall! I'm still chuckling.
By: Bryan Jones on December 22, 2013
Sounds like there was more than one way to "curb" his behaviour.
By: Hilary on December 22, 2013
I sent this to a friend who works for the local PD, he is posting it on the BB.
By: cranky on December 24, 2013

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