Welcome to the Chubby Chatterbox Newsletter, where I’ll be posting favorites from the Chubby Chatterbox archives. In addition, my complete thriller Return of the Mary Celeste will soon be serialized here for those who have asked for something beyond a regular post.

My novel is based on a true event, arguably the greatest maritime mystery of all time. In 1872 the crew and passengers of Boston brigantine Mary Celeste abandoned their seaworthy ship and its valuable cargo, vanishing in the middle of the Atlantic. Speculation over their fate has never abated. History records that after the Mary Celeste tragedy no one from that fateful voyage was ever seen again. History is about to be rewritten…

Return of the Mary Celeste

Prologue

Tragedy struck the brigantine Mary Celeste on the morning of November 25, 1872. The hourly log was later recovered from the deserted vessel; At 8 a.m. the last notation was made. By 9 a.m. no one remained aboard to chalk the next entry.

Something had terrified Captain Benjamin Briggs and his crew, prompting the seasoned skipper to make a decision certain to affect not only himself, his ship and crew, but his family as well—his wife and two year old daughter were aboard Mary Celeste. Much ink has been spilled in fanciful and scientific attempts to explain the calamity that engulfed this perfectly seaworthy ship, yet all that is known for certain is this: in a matter of minutes Captain Briggs became convinced that the only way to save their lives was by ordering everyone into a hastily launched lifeboat. By giving the order to abandon ship, he also launched the greatest of all maritime mysteries.

On December 5, 1872, a month after leaving New York Harbor, Mary Celeste was found drifting on a calm and empty sea. The ship was in fine condition, perfectly intact with valuable cargo safely stored in her hold, but the crew and passengers had vanished. None were ever seen again.

Until now….

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A Dumb Idea?

December 21, 2016

Several of my favorite bloggers post fun pictures of signs or points of interest in their communities, but until now I haven’t spotted anything amusing enough to share. But yesterday while driving across town to visit my mother I passed a sign that gave me a much-needed laugh.

 

Hookahs weren’t designed for marijuana use and were originally intended as devices to enjoy tobacco, but I’ve never known anyone who had one who didn’t use it with marijuana. The fact that this sign includes the word “UNDERGROUND” settled the issue with me.

 

But RESUMES?

 

It’s an interesting concept; enjoy a few hits of mind-altering smoke and then order a resume? Does a hookah come as a free gift with every resume ordered? Inquiring minds wants to know. In my case, it would inspire creativity and help add the spice my resume would otherwise lack.

 

I can’t help wondering if these resumes were riddled with typos, misspellings and other contextual problems due to the “enhanced state” of these resume experts. Is it a dumb idea creating a business combining underground hookahs and resume writing? Probably. The retail space beside this sign was empty. Have you ever used a hookah?

 

Here are a couple of hookah enthusiasts you might recognize:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Comments

21 Comments
Never had the opportunity to try one... when I partook in such activities, back in the day.
By: Daniel LaFrance on December 21, 2016
I'm so naive I didn't even know what a Hookah was until this post!
By: LL Cool Joe on December 21, 2016
Ha! Very funny... I wonder if really means that the Underground Hookah is resuming instead of offering to help with resumes? English is weird. :)
By: The Bug on December 21, 2016
I thought a hooka was a lady who charged for favors...never tried one of those either.
By: cranky on December 21, 2016
Like the commenter above, I was reading that to mean it was continuing. English IS a strange language! Hookah = the ultimate bong experience.
By: Kelly on December 21, 2016
I didn't know one needed a resume to be part of the drug industry.
By: Alex J. Cavanaugh on December 21, 2016
I'm puzzled too. But if it offers a laugh, that's the main thing :) I hope your Christmas is a good one despite your present problems.
By: Jenny on December 21, 2016
oh brother...rolling on the floor. I sure hope you and your family are doing ok.
By: Kathe W. on December 21, 2016
Since there's a sizable Middle Eastern population in the Detroit area there are a number of hookah lounges and places selling hookah paraphernalia. I remember one time I went to a Starbucks and a couple of kids were sitting out front with a hookah. I wonder what was in it?
By: PT Dilloway on December 21, 2016
Nope, I've never tried one. But I'm sure if I ever did the first thing I'd do afterwards is put pen to paper and write me a doozie of a resume. ;)
By: scott park on December 21, 2016
I wonder if the word is resumes-as starts again after a pause...as though the smoking lamp (hookah) is on again. Perhaps it is a changeable element of the sign and could also read pauses?
By: Tom Cochrun on December 21, 2016
Heeheehee! Whether it's resume = start again or resume = curriculum vitae, it's funny!
By: messymimi on December 21, 2016
Bongs, yes. Hookahs, no.
By: Catalyst on December 21, 2016
I never knew what a hookah was until a hookah lounge popped up in downtown Lakeland. I had to google it then. And the sign would explain some of the resumes I've seen...
By: Pixel Peeper on December 21, 2016
No hooka experience here! I haven't updated my resume since I retired.
By: red Kline on December 21, 2016
Hookah? We don't even know what a resume is, here in Backroads!
By: Val on December 21, 2016
I came here from Pixel Peeper. I did not know you called it a âhookah.â We had one in our apartment in Paris where I grew up. My mother and I had brought it back from my fatherâs parentâs house (he could not go back as he was Armenian.) Anyway my father always told me it was his fatherâs narguilé (thatâs what he called it) â what he used to smoke tobacco. As I faintly recall I saw quite a few old men in Istanbul smoking with narguilé and did not know they could be used for grass. When I lived in San Francisco in the 60s we did not use one, but come to think of it I did see quite a few in the Haight in shop windows last year.
By: Vagabonde on December 21, 2016
never used a hookah but I have used many a water pipe.
By: Ellen Abbott on December 22, 2016
I have used a hookah and yes it had marijuana in it. My brother had/has one and it was about 5 feet tall with 4 or 5 hoses. It got a lot of good use at parties I can assure you! Lol.
By: Bee BB Bee on December 22, 2016
Now one must be careful not to send that resume to a place that requires a drug test!
By: Sage on December 22, 2016
Showing my age here --had to Google it. Back in the day we used primitive rolling paper.
By: Arkansas Patti on December 22, 2016

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